Everybody knows these clichés about French food (very delicious), French wine (fine), French women (elegant), French men (good lovers). And probably some other terms and ideas.
I asked my friend Caroline, who is (just by occasion!) French and lives in United States for 10 years (last two years in Tenafly and before that in Atlanta) with her husband Vincent, who is working for Credit Suisse, their two nice kids Aubin (7) and Zélie (8) and their big black dog with a French name, that I can't remember, doesn't matter, how many times I tried, to give insights in a French culture.
Caroline, how would you describe French food?
Elegant.
You have to understand, each meal is an expression for us. Eat is a reason to live. We are obsessed with eating. We think about it all the time. During the breakfast Vincent is asking already, what we'll have for lunch and dinner. We are doing also huge grocery shopping.
We have three meals a day. In the morning it's usually bread, butter, croissant and jam. For kids - cereals.
And what are you going to have for lunch today?
Today we'll have lettuce, mushrooms with olive oil and vinegar, salmon in parchment and cheese, fruit or yoghurt for dessert.
What is your meal schedule?
We eat together for breakfast and dinner. That's important for us. At that time we also discuss our days, what's going on etc. Our meal schedule looks like this:
At 8 am - breakfast
1 pm - lunch
8 pm - dinner.
That's it?
Yes, that's it.
Sometimes, when the kids are too hungry, we can start earlier with the dinner. Between lunch and dinner at 2:30 kids are allowed to have a small snack. It could be a fruit plus three cookies. That's, what I usually give to my kids.
And for adults?
No snacks for adults.
But, dear, how do you survive between lunch and dinner? Seven hours - it's so long?
You don't have hunger in between. Well, you not supposed to have. (Caroline laughs.) And we think, it's also ok to be a bit hungry. We believe, there is a right time and a wrong time to eat. And you know, each meal is a full one: appetizer, entree, dessert, glass of wine. So you really don't get hungry so soon. Also the meals last very long, minimum one hour, but often up to two hours.
And the kids?
Well, they have their snack between lunch and dinner. And when sometimes they don't want to eat, we let them to miss the meal and wait until the next one. Vincent is very strict with the eating rules. Recently Aubin was late out of bed on Saturday and he missed his breakfast. He came to us at 10 am, asking for a breakfast. Vincent said, no, wait until lunchtime. So the children learn, sometimes in a hard way, to pay attention to the meals, to eat well during the mealtime and don't to snack.
Do you often go to a restaurant?
Yes, it is common to go to the restaurant for a lunch. It's not really expensive. Appetizer, entree, wine and coffee cost 8-9 Euro. And all the restaurants are full with people.
Many companies offer for their employees "restaurant tickets" in value for 10-15 Euro. Most of the restaurants accept them. You can use this vouchers for lunch or save them for a weekend dinner.
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| At L'Artusi, french restaurant in Manhattan. One of my favorites |
I have also this picture in mind: French are sitting in cafe outside and drinking cup of cappuccino.
We love to go to cafes and take a cup of cappuccino. My dad goes every morning to his cafe and drinks two-three espresso. He has a coffee machine at home, but he prefers cafe.
So we sit at cafe and enjoy. And then everybody is late because the lawyer, the doctor, the patient,- they all are sitting in the same cafe and drinking their cappuccino and are late. (She laughs).
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| The best French tea selection |
Do you eat sweets? For dessert or on weekend?
No, it's not common. In generally we don't eat sweets.
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| The best macaroons. They are not sweet, right? |
Caroline, as you were visiting us, I noticed, how good your kids behave at table. They are very polite and obedient.
Oh, thank you. We start to teach the kids from very early age to eat properly at table. Don't to put elbows on the table, how to use knife and fox. With one year most of the children can eat by themselves. With two they learn to use a knife. Once we had an American schoolmate of Aubin for a lunch. He started to eat steak with the hands. I was shocked. I can't stand it out.
We also don't like when adults are running after children when we are sitting at table, eating and talking. Children are not supposed to interrupt adults.
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| Learn to cook French |
Ok, let's talk about wine. Is it true, that French drink a lot of wine?
Yes, we drink wine. A lot. My dad, who is 60, drinks a bottle in a day. It's common. In our family we don't drink so much, but a glass for lunch and a glass for dinner are usual. On Friday and weekends we can drink some more. And on vacations of course. Sometimes we give a sip to children to try. "Try this, it's a good one." So they learn to feel the difference.
Red or white wine - it really depends from meal. Usually we'll prefer white wine - before meal.
In summer we drink also beer.
And traditionally we have aperitif.
Tell, what do you call aperitif?
Usually it's a light alcohol drink - wine, beer, Campari and a few finger food. We have aperitif before dinner at ca. 7 pm.
Caroline, what is your picture of French woman? What is different about her?
She is catching your eyes. She colors her hair and goes to her hair master every 3-4 weeks. She is always dressed on top of the fashion. The people in France don't have so much money, therefore you can't see so many brands there. French woman is not so about sport. And everybody is doing diet, especially after Christmas time. You can barely see fat people on the streets in France, we don't tolerate them. I think, it's also more difficult for fat people to get a job.
You know, people say, French men are good lovers. Are they?
(Lightly embarrassed) I don't know. Probably.
In any case they are much better dressed than Americans. They smell good. They are dressed very fashioned and use good perfumes.
Party. What is a good party for you?
The table will be set very nice, for sure. And then, it depends.
In summer time we can have a BBQ. But in a different way, as Americans do it. Very good meat, salads, potatoes, green beans.
But as for us, Vincent and me, we prefer formal dinner. It includes aperitif, appetizer, entree and dessert.
When we have dinner on Saturday for eight people, I will start cook on Friday. We will begin at 7:30 - 8 pm with aperitif and end at 12 - 0:30 with dessert. We'll stay at the table for very long. Sometimes we dance. In the background we often let a nice music playing.
What music do you like? What singers are your favorites?
Currently is Benabar very popular. His songs are like small stories. He sings, "We have a dinner and I don't want to go" and everybody can relate to it.
And I love also the classics like Georges Brassens, Jacques Brel, Serge Gainsbourg, Thomas Dutronc and of course Charles Aznavour. Everyone knows four - five songs from him by heart.
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| Personal French collection: Rose and Charlotte Guinsburg |
Why are you staying at table for so long? What are you doing?
Well, we talk. We talk a lot. We love to have discussions. We are not afraid of having fights at table. We talk about everything: politic, economic, culture. And everyone has his opinion, starting from 12 years old, just everyone. We bring it often in an expressive way. But next morning we can call and talk to each other without any problems.
It's interesting, we talk about politic at the table, but not at work. We don't have this vote signs like in America in front of the house "Vote for Obama" or "Vote for Mitt Romney".
Often children have the same political opinions as parents they have. It's really seldom that children will vote for other political party as parents.
France is left. But Obama who is left here, would be considered as right in France.
Although France is a catholic country, religion doesn't play any role. We don't go to the church, we don't marry at church. Now we have a big topic with muslims in France. We have 65 Million people, and there are 3-4 Million muslims.
Back to the party, Caroline. What would you wear for it?
Very simple: jeans, a cute top and high heels. When you are wearing a dress, the people will think, you are overdressed.
I think, we have more originality in every day clothes. So we are not going crazy to dress us up. Make up is a must. We use very good brand cosmetic. The same with perfumes.
Where do you buy your clothes?
In casual clothes we prefer Italian brands. They are just the best. For kids I love to shop here at Target, but I bring also a lot from France. For 30-40 Euro you can get a complete look, original, funny and in a very good quality. Usually we shop together with Vincent. It can take 4 hours and more. And he is a good adviser and helper for me.
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| This girl is pretty French, wearing shoes from Jacardi and Overall from Petit Bateu |
How do French women combine work and family?
Honestly, I don't know how they do it. Most of women, about 80%, are working. And Wednesday we have day off at school.
What? Why? That ridiculous!
Well, it's supposed, that on that day children can go for their sport activities or hobbies. For example, elementary school schedule looks like this:
8:30 - 11:30 (inkl. 30 minutes break) and then from 1:30 - 4:30 (inkl. 30 minutes break).
On Saturdays kids have school from 8:30 -11:30
Every six weeks we have two weeks vacation at school.
What are the kids doing during the two-hours break?
It's a lunch time. About the half of children would be taken home for lunch. And then come back. The other kids would stay and have a good lunch at school cantina.
But how can you do this?
Grandparents help a lot. And babysitters of course. Women who are working for government (and they are many), often have day off on Wednesday.
From what age does the school start?
From 3 till 6 years kids have pre-school. It's mandatory. From 6 - 10 is elementary school.
Now they are trying to reform school hours. But it's so difficult by us. Because they strike every time, they don't like something. It's really obsessed.
What school system do you like more?
I like school system in France. I think, it's much better than in US. What we are not good at, is languages. But, you know, few months ago they started to show movies in original language.
How to make friends in France?
There is a big difference between South and North France. In North it's more difficult to make friends. but when you find them, they will stick with you forever. In South it's more easier.
I think, schools are always good to find some friends. You can show also interest to food and wine.
What should I bring with me, when be invited?
Flowers are always good. Wine is good as well. Champagne of course. And don't forget, never come on time! 15-30 minutes late are must be.
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